September was a hard month for me. My grandmother passed away on September 2nd, and it was something I knew would happen eventually, but was in no way prepared to cope with. She was only 63.

My grandma was a very big part of my life. I frequently called her just to ask random questions about life. One of the hardest things since she's been gone is reminding myself that I can't pick up the phone and call or text her. She won't be there to give me advice on how to choose the best watermelon, or what to do when I start to have an allergic reaction. But more importantly she won't be at my wedding or my college graduation. These are some of the hardest things for me to think about, and they make me cry every time.

It's been a little over a month and I can finally write this all the way through. I haven't been able to write on my blog because I really didn't know what to say. I felt like this was something I should address because my blog is called "life as me." This is my life, and I definitely miss my grandma all the time, but I know she's with me in my heart and I will always have those memories I shared with her. Luckily I always took advantage of any opportunity I could find to take pictures with her and the rest of my family and just be silly together.

I don't think I will write any more about this, not because I don't want to, but because it's just too hard. It's all still so fresh. I just felt like I needed to write about September because it was a hard month for me, and now I finally feel like I can understand so many people's hardships when they lose such a close loved one. Before, I was unaccustomed to feeling such a loss, such a void, and I am thankful that I had the time I did with her. My little sister is only five years old. How lucky am I that I got almost 20 years with my grandma? Like, wow there are so many great memories I got to share with her and those are the stories I will tell my sister when she grows up and wonders about our Grandma. I suppose that is all for today.

This post is dedicated to my beautiful, funny, courageous, and outgoing grandma, the late Brenda Kay Susan Scheperle. I love you grandma.

All the best,